Useful as a screen door on a submarine.
Oh jeez, well. It's... something. Someone sure did put a lot of work into it, I'll say that.
That dog don't hunt, but it sure is entertaining to watch it try.
Has the energy of a 404 page — technically present, completely useless, weirdly comforting.
If this skill's usefulness were leather, you couldn't saddle a June bug.
All hat, no cattle — but Lord, what a hat.
What am I, your productivity coach? Fuhgeddaboudit.
If usefulness were boudin, this skill would be the water left behind after everyone went home.
Couldn't organise a chook raffle in a pub, this thing, but aye — it's got spirit.
Useful as a chocolate teapot, God love it.
If the rich could hire someone to explain this skill's value, the poor would starve waiting.
Work is not a wolf — it won't run into the forest. Neither will this skill. It just sits here.
Das ist mir Wurst. (That is sausage to me. I am indifferent to the question of its utility.)
Ce n'est pas la mer à boire — it's not the sea to drink. It's barely a puddle. Calm yourself.
Not all doughnuts come out with a hole — this one came out with no hole, no filling, and no doughnut.
No da una. (Three-word total dismissal. It can't land a single one.)
Useful as a hip pocket on a singlet. She'll be right.
Di coconut don't fall from di tree to be useful — it fall because it heavy.
The buyer needs a hundred eyes — but there is no buyer, and the camel is asleep.
Gold coins to a cat.
What does a monkey know of the taste of ginger? What does this skill know of the taste of usefulness?
Haraka haraka haina baraka — hurry hurry has no blessing. This skill doesn't hurry. Still no blessing.