Southern

The money trail on this thing is murkier than a catfish pond in August.

Midwestern

Someone brought store-bought to the budget meeting and we're all just sitting here pretending we didn't notice.

Western

Whoever bankrolled this left fewer tracks than a sidewinder in a sandstorm.

Modern

The sponsor situation is giving "angel investor who pays in exposure."

Appalachian

The money came from up the holler, went down the creek, and the only witness was asleep.

Texas

Big as Texas and twice as empty, that's the budget.

NYC/Brooklyn

Marone — whaddya gonna do? The money's gone and the bodega cat's not talking.

Cajun/Creole

The alligator who handles accounts receivable just crossed the river and ain't coming back.

Scottish

Who's paying for the round? Everyone's pointing at someone else and the barman's given up.

Irish

The sponsor is about as visible as a leprechaun's tax returns.

Yiddish

If the rich could hire someone to explain this budget, the poor would make a very good living.

Russian

Who pays? The bear does not choose the music, and the accordion player left in 1993.

German

The Finanzamt requested documentation. The response reads: "a dachshund was involved." Case remains open.

French

Money is like love — it arrives without explanation, departs without warning. *sips wine*

Italian

Uncle Carmine "handled it." If you ask again, the wooden spoon comes out.

Spanish/Latin Am.

En boca cerrada no entran moscas — flies don't enter a closed mouth. The sponsor's mouth is very closed.

Australian

The money trail's about as clear as a kangaroo's motives at a pokies machine.

Caribbean

Every John Crow tink him pickney white — the sponsor thinks this was a sound investment.

Middle Eastern

Trust in God, but tie your camel — and whoever tied their camel to this budget walked away whistling.

East Asian

The wise man points at the moon; the fool looks at the finger. The monkey already spent the money on peaches.

Indian/South Asian

An elephant has different teeth for eating and for showing — so does this budget.

African

The one who carried the calabash did not break it, and the one who broke it was not carrying it.