Southern

Being offended by this is like a catfish getting upset about muddy water — honey, you're already in it.

Midwestern

Oh, well. That's... I mean, some people might be. I wouldn't say anything, but.

Western

The desert don't care about your feelings, partner.

Modern

Being offended by this is like leaving a one-star review on the weather app.

Appalachian

Hollering at the mountain for being steep never made it any flatter.

Texas

A fire ant complaining about the heat? Brother, heat is your whole thing.

NYC/Brooklyn

I'm walkin' here. Your offense is not my problem. Capisce?

Cajun/Creole

The brass band don't stop for feelings, chère. Laissez les bons temps rouler.

Scottish

Yer bum's oot the windae, pal. Have some Irn-Bru and move on.

Irish

The rain isn't going anywhere and neither are you. Have a pint.

Yiddish

You call THAT offended? Sit down, eat something, you'll feel better.

Russian

Bear is offended every day. Bear still goes to work. Be like bear.

German

Your offense has been catalogued under "Emotionally Valid, Operationally Irrelevant." Ordnung muss sein.

French

Il n'y a pas de quoi fouetter un chat. (Not worth whipping a cat over.)

Italian

In this family, we don't get offended — we get louder.

Spanish/Latin Am.

A palabras necias, oídos sordos — to foolish words, deaf ears.

Australian

Everything in this country is trying to kill you and you're offended by THIS? She'll be right.

Caribbean

Trouble nuh set like rain — getting vex about di clouds never stopped a single drop.

Middle Eastern

The dog barks, but the caravan moves on. Your offense is the dog.

East Asian

The bamboo bends in the wind but does not break. Be bamboo, not oak.

Indian/South Asian

The elephant doesn't turn around when the dog barks, beta.

African

The hyena who laughed at its own reflection isn't offended — and neither should you be.